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My thinking was that at least my college would be paid for. I guess I felt inspired to join the service after years of being told, “Son, if you want to build character, enlist.”īecause I didn’t have a lot of other prospects going for me, I decided to sign up. My dad was in the military and so was his father. Ever since I was a little boy, it had been a lifelong dream to do this. You see around 12 or so years ago, when I was 19, I was a military infantryman. It’s that last part (shooting) which is directly related to what happened to me. In my case, it’s hiking, fishing, and occasional range shooting. Probably like you, I’m just a regular guy with basic hobbies. I’ve got a wife and 2-year old son with another little one on the way this fall. . I am 31-years old and live in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Writing was never one of my strong suits. I’m apologizing now for any grammar or spelling mistakes you’ll see. If you’ve ever been curious about what it’s like to have someone force you to be gay, you are about to find out. But it does offer details about what happened. Be warned – what follows isn’t going to be super graphic. I’ll start out by giving you some background about me so that you’ve got a mental snapshot. More: Lies about male military sexual assault Feeling motivated, I decided to pen this piece. It wasn’t that long ago that I read a first-hand story about a private who endured something similar to me during his time wearing the uniform. You see, I’ve talked to other men like me who were in the military and made to engage in sex acts against their will. Look, I know I’m not the only guy who has ever been forced to be gay.
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Shoot, anyone would be I guess.īut as a friend of mine advised, it’s better to get it all out there and not bottle it up. Oil on canvas.To keep it real, I would be a liar if I didn’t tell you that I’m feeling anxious as I type this now. Walter Gay (1856–1937), Interior of the Artist's Apartment, undated. Across Photoarchive files, researchers can make their own connections among themes of portraiture and emptiness, and artists like Water Gay, Joseph Ducreux, and Goya and his followers. In Interior of the Artist’s Apartment, Ducreux stands in as the identifiable face to Walter Gay’s living room, and the directness of Ducreux’s portrait remains central to both pictures.
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Working in his own home, Gay sometimes included images of himself and Matilda, adding a more literal expression of portraiture to his work. Half-closed doors, wrinkled sheets, and cluttered arrangements of bibelots speak as much to the unseen occupants as they do to those qualities innate to a space itself. The portrait also complemented Walter Gay’s interior scenes, in which he imbues rooms with moods and personalities. It is also possible that the Goya-esque quality observed in 1949 references Matilda Gay’s appreciation of the Spanish temperament: in a diary entry, she describes an acquaintance who “looks just like a Goya, and has the fougueux quality of a man of that epoch.” The picture presumably appealed to the Gays’ love of eighteenth-century French art. It is not known when the Gays might have acquired this version of Ducreux’s painting, of which several replicas and copies are known to exist. Its twenty-first-century fame is due largely to a 2009 internet meme called “Archaic Rap,” in which images of Ducreux’s paintings captioned with slangy one-liners and Britishisms were widely tweeted and shared on Facebook. When Interior of the Artist’s Apartment was exhibited at the Wadsworth Athenaeum, Hartford, in 1949, five years before it was accessioned by the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, the portrait was listed as “probably by Goya or one of his followers.” Today, it is recognized as a self-portrait by the French painter Joseph Ducreux (1735–1802). The portrait hangs above a bright blue settee and is surrounded by a cluster of five small landscapes. Prominently featured in this corner of the room is a large portrait of a man, grinning and pointing at the viewer. Interior of the Artist’s Apartment, made sometime after 1910 by the American painter and watercolorist Walter Gay, shows a narrow view of a sitting area in Walter and his wife Matilda’s Paris apartment at 11 Rue de l'Université, where the couple had moved in May 1909.